My Daddy

Just one short year ago, almost to the day, I was hopping on a plane to Illinois, leaving my 8 month old son behind, to be with my dad in the hospital with blood clots. Little did I, or anyone else, know that would be the beginning to one of the hardest years to date fighting an evil disease.

Over the last year, I have shed more tears, been more confused, prayed and relied on God more, spent more time in my car,hospitals,doctor's appointments, and nursing homes, become a pretty good hygiene nurse (not so much medicine wise), and most of all, become closer to my dad. My life/relatonship with my dad has never been easy or understandable, but God allowed us to come full circle. Through this horrendous battle with cancer, I have done those small things with him that I had never done before like show him the clothes/shoes I bought at the store, just sit by his side and talk, really talk, pray with him, read him the Bible, learn about his childhood, and interact on a new level. I will never be able to understand why he had to go through all of this, but I can confidently say God works for the good, and this past year was horrible but amazing at the same time. I grew so close to my dad knowing that the end was always one day closer.

I didn't make it in time to be with him when he passed, but my dad knew I was okay with him leaving simply because I knew I'd see him again. I made that clear when I was with him the weekend before. This was not always the case, though. Many tears were shed while telling this stubborn man about the grace of God. It definitely becomes more urgent for your loved ones when death is at their doorstep. One of the best days of my life was when I got the phone call on Good Friday letting me know that he accepted Christ!

Daddy, your little girl misses you and might tear up everytime Jack asks to call his Papa, but I know you're up there smiling down. You are walking without pain, playing tennis again, eating food and gaining weight, watching movies, playing dominos, and cheering on your sports' teams.

Thank you Dad for the memories over the last year. Some of them aren't pretty, but I am so thankful for each and every day that we had.

I love you.

 This was the last kiss I got from my dad. If I knew it was the last, I would have asked for ten thousand more.